the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Randomize
