Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
