we have pet lesbian snakes
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
there is another microwave in the elevator.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
