apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
