Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
