i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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