Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
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