The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
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