I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
