At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Randomize
