Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
