I got chris browned last night
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
