i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Randomize
