wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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