the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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