It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
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he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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