Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Also, beer. Big fan.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
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