i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
