i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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