nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
