I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
