Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
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