dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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