Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
someone owes me an orgasm
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
