I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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