i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
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