so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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