I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Randomize
