It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
