That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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