i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
