You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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