apparently the secret to your success is patron
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Ladies don't puke and tell
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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