Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
