Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Randomize
