He asked to "fluff my boner.."
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
