remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize