Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
