nut hugger
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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