She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
