I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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