belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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