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After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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