just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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