TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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