Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
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