Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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