Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
