We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
