bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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