Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
