im having a threesome with these popsicles
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
