No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
