Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
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Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
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Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I FOUND THE LEGS
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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