Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
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Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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