I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
