i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Randomize
