If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize
