So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
