oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
