so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
