soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Randomize
